Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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