I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
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I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
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we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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