i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
