forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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