O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
