Are we in a gay sports bar?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
