Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Duck Duck Cougar?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Quick, to the slutcave!
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
