I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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