I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
