My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
