Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Farmville is her only friend.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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