hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize