i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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