I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
