dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
