the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
