dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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