But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
