im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish i was in the wii world.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
