I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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