we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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