If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I could fuck to npr.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
