I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
