does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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