Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
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