i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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