i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
