If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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