But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
