I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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