we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
