You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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