oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
