it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You may now shotgun with the bride
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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