i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
