Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
