He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
