it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
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There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
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He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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