I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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