I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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