Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
