Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
