I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize