The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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