I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
