yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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