Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
