i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There r osticjed everywhere
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
