My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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