dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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