Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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