Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
