i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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