How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
