ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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