4 words: hood of his car
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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