So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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