So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
