i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
