Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
