I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
