Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
false alarm. still invincible.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize