This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
