just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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