In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
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