Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
